With Vancouver hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, apparently these are some questions people are asking. These have been excerpted from a greater article about questions posted at various tourism websites.
(I’m choosing not to ask who was paid to compile or answer them.)
Note: I’ve removed the countries of origin from the questions. It’s all in good fun, and well, maybe just a little bit of a public service announcement.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street?
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the Railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it’s only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns.
A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them.. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do!