Pulling a Costanza | Need a Little Rest from Trying So Hard?
You’re probably familiar with a television sitcom called ‘Seinfeld.’ Whether you’ve watched the show once or too many times, you probably remember that one of Jerry Seinfeld’s friends was a character named George Costanza.
George was one of those people who couldn’t do anything right. In his thirties, he still lived at home, had no job, no relationship and was losing the rest of his hair. Oh and yes, he was short and generally thought of as unattractive.
He put it something like this:
George: It’s not working, Jerry. It’s just not working.
Jerry: What’s not working?
George: Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but … I was perceptive. I always know when someone’s uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I’ve ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, be it something to wear, something to eat … it’s all been wrong.
Sound familiar? We all have our ‘George’ days, when we feel like we’re getting nowhere, and we don’t know what to do about it. We feel miserable and unworthy, useless and helpless.
We feel like George.
But one day, in one of the ‘Seinfeld’ episodes that takes place in their neighborhood diner, George has an epiphany. In all his frustration, he decides on a lark to do the ‘opposite’.
Waitress: Okay and how about you? What’ll you have?
George: The usual…tuna on toast…
Waitress: Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee.
George: Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute. I always have tuna on toast. Nothing’s ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast. Chicken salad on rye, un-toasted, with a side of potato salad and a cup of tea.
Elaine: Well, there’s no telling what can happen from this.
At that moment, the camera shows a beautiful woman at the diner turning around and looking George right in the face from across the room. Eyes glowing, she says, “That’s exactly what I ordered.”
When you’re stuck, spinning your wheels, or just generally feeling thwarted by life, stop pushing your energy in the same stuck direction.
Instead, try the opposite. Close your eyes for just one moment and visualize yourself turning around. Now, open your eyes.
You might be surprised at what looks you in the face.
Post your comments and questions below.
It’s easy to feel stuck and overwhelmed, swallowed by information overload and expectations. When stuck, open your front door with your non-dominant hand. Take a different route home or running errands. Hold your drink with your opposite hand. Switch your watch to the opposite wrist. Simple but effective ways to slip loose from a rut, a gift to me from a mentor.
When a sales coaching client is stuck, I ask: What one action can you take at this moment to move forward or create a different perspective? Clients usually report feeling more calm, more in control and less overwhelmed from being able to choose one clear, simple action.
HI Andrea,
That article really resonated with me. I did the exact thing that George did and now coach women on doing the same! Stepping out of their comfort zone…brief to thong style!
I wanted to step out and do something different as a coach, something fun that all women could relate to so I created From Brief to Thong-How to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone, Remove the Panty Lines of Life that are Holding you Back, and Thrive Thong Style!!!
Check it out at http://www.frombrieftothong.com . I love just talking about it!
So, I too believe we just need to step out and do something different. Throw out your granny panties (tummy control and all) and step into the life that is waiting and in a thong of course!
Just wanted to add that Tina was my coach a few years ago and so I credit my first experience of stepping out to her. Thanks Tina!
Hi Andrea,
This turnaround thing reminds me of The Work of Byron Katie. What about the huge turnaround of going from, “I am the doer, the one who is in control of my life and the one who does it all to navigate a challenging universe to get what I want and make it all happen” to the extreme radical turnaround viewpoint of, “I am the one that is done as an aspect of the amazingly friendly and benevolent universe, and I simply follow the simple direction given by the inner ‘yes’ and the inner ‘no’ and the outcome is none of my business.” WOW!!! is that different or what? The striving for more goes out the door. Deep inner peace runs the show Oh my!! Check out The Work at thework.com or check me out at peacemoves.com . After all, isn’t it the deep inner peace of genuine joy in service that we are all stiving for?
Beautiful Andrea. I can’t imagine how often I have coached with a very similar approach to help women unleash an entirely “new” self. I just never made the George connection. But I have to add, “thanks a lot!” Now I’ll see certain clients in my mind’s eye in a whole new way: bald, whiney and wearing glasses!
Thanks for the chuckle…
Andrea
Once again, thanks a million for this. I had been thinking about the age old question of ‘getting more clients/money’ and batting my head up against a brick wall. I hadn’t realised that I felt so bad about it…d’oh!
And when I turned it to the opposite, I realised, I want to be serving people, helping people live passionately joyful and playful lives…not chasing down their wallets or pursuing them like they’re a notch on the bedpost!!!
Thanks for reminding me that clients aren’t just a number.
Love
Donna.x