Shopping, Rethunk | A Practical Antidote

This statement wins the prize for Most Profound Insight on a Souvenir T-shirt, at least this summer:

“The best things in life aren’t things.”

And, as it happens, the same shirt took second prize, for:

“There are 2 ways to get rich, earn more money or want less stuff.”

Taken together, this is yoda-ish in its profundity, isn’t it? Which got me thinking about a thing I had fun sharing with Anna Dargitz the last time we visited in Denver, Colorado. I call it “Shopping, Rethunk.”

How do you resist shopping? [Do you try to resist it?]

We are all pretty plugged in people here, so we’ve all heard the stuff. You know, stuff along the lines of:

- People spend 25.6% more time at shopping malls than at church or with their kids, combined.
- 15.7% of the population of the US pays good money to put their extra ‘stuff’ in storage or mini-storage.
- More than 50% of people have things in their homes that are still in their packaging that they haven’t used/played with/finished/started. (Perversely they have of course lost the receipt.)
- Also approximately 50% (not sure if they are the same 50%) will go to the mall this weekend anyway.

A lot of focus gets put on the media, the evil Gargamel role it has to play in generating and sustaining the crush to consume.

And while some of that is certainly warranted, I think there is something fairly innate about our basic desire to hunt things down (window shop); kill them (bring something to the register and have it stuffed into a plastic bag); and bring them home to eat (put them in our closet.)

Face it, deep down, we’re all just squirrels putting nuts away.

So…when you’re someone who eschews struggle in your life, yet you’d like to tone down the nut-hunting instinct, what can you do?

Here are 2 practical suggestions which really, really work. (They work even more over time, as you get used to them, but they work right away too.) Think of them as a practical antidote to shopping.

(1) Go shopping in your own house. reShop the items you know you have bought, but haven’t yet enjoyed.

If we’re all hunters or gatherers, let’s not fight it, shall we? Instead visit the corners of your own ‘store’ and pull out the things you haven’t yet consumed. I won’t suggest you put them in a bag or write up a fake receipt or anything, but how about exclaiming over the packaging and reading the instructions?

Wait till your family has left you alone for a minute to coo over the slick casing or pretty colors, even. Then, consciously set to enjoying whatever the item is. It’s like a reverse garage sale. It all starts with raising the grain on the ‘stuff’ you already have, but haven’t enjoyed.

Here’s a little something to get you going. On my list of things I’m looking forward to enjoying thoroughly:

- An IPod and new Bose speakers I got for my birthday in June…they’ve been sitting in my office. I know, crazy, right?

The thing you may not know about me is sometimes I like to savour things. And I love my new-old IPod. So here’s me playing with the settings and loading up songs. But I have yet to indulge in the delicious fun of playing it in my car. Or jogging. There is a world of enjoyment to be had here without going to the mall – again.

Other common things that belong in the ‘reShop’ category are: your CD collection, ‘summer’ or ‘winter’ clothing boxes, sports equipment, craft project type things, interesting ingredients in your kitchen cupboards – figure out that can of coconut milk, wouldja?

You get the idea. Next time the siren song of the mall calls, try reShopping to satsify your desire for something ‘shiny and new.’

(2) Go to the mall and pretend you are at a really cool museum.

This is a little different, so as usual, it’s probably best for me to convey this one with a story.

I am attracted a lot to color and touch; I especially like certain floral patterns, it’s a personal taste thing, and for whatever reason a particularly nice one will give me a smile just to look at it. So what I’ve taken to doing is, for example, picking up a skirt that delights me and carrying it around. Sure I pick up my size. But I don’t go to the changing room.

I just hang on to it, draped over my arm, and I keep window shopping. I touch, I ooh, I ahhh. I might put a couple things over my arm.

When I’ve finished browsing the department store, I then take another moment to enjoy the beauty of what I’ve been holding, and then…I put it back.

Yes, sometimes I say a tender goodbye, but not because I want to buy it and I’m depriving myself of it, just because I’m fond of it. A little nutty? Perhaps.

Anyway, I’m coming clean on this. I’ve been doing this for years and years. Until I discussed it with Anna, I hadn’t given it a name, but we now call it Museum Shopping.

You know when you go to a gorgeous museum and lust after what’s in it? But, you know you can’t have it, so you just enjoy it. You drink it in with your eyes. You breathe a little deeper because it activates your endorphins. You smile. You repeat this for a few hours and then leave, happier, a better person, even, than when you got there.

This is the essence of Museum Shopping. Enjoying the item in the department store while you’re in the store, taking your fill, and then leaving it there.

Because – speaking on a spiritual level now – if there is only one universal source of energy, that means everything belongs to everyone, doesn’t it? If we are all one, we already own the things we see. There is no ‘need’ to ‘have’ because we already do.

It’s like an extended ‘being’ or ‘belonging’ state with these things we call things. Make sense?

After all, it’s how we feel about the things around us that we covet so much, not the thing itself, right? (How you feel in the red cardigan that brightens your face, not the fact of the cardigan. Fill in your own example here.)

Mike and I do go to the mall, like everyone else. But before we give in, I often try reShopping first. And then, when we *are* at the mall, I enjoy it more like a museum, aquarium, or zoo (without the admission fee.)

Coming full circle, truly ‘the best things in life aren’t things.’ And by adopting and creating new ways to enjoy life without consuming per se, I think we bring ourselves back to what’s important.

Because as the sublimely ridiculous yet somehow-sensible comedian Steven Wright put it “You can’t have everything, where would you put it?”

“Shopping, Rethunk” is a series of thoughts-in-progress, so please contribute your practical antidotes to shopping at the comments link.

I believe we can create a body of work that supports refreshment. Refreshment from over-shopping.

Not that there’s anything wrong with wanting things! But let’s ask ourselves what we gain by acquiring more and more things. If by our desires we create our world, perhaps it would be fun to use our minds to create more non-things…

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Your help answering the following is appreciated as we develop more material on this subject. If one of these questions moves you, just click the ‘comments’ link to share. Or, just comment freely as you see fit. Thanks!

Is the topic of consuming less meaningful to you? Are you annoyed at feeling ‘in the grips’ of the consumption machine? Are you happy to collect more things and see it as the natural order in a world where the ‘law of attraction’ lives large?

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